


You Were Here, Now You're Gone

by LexiM02



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, M/M, guys this is so bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9725474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiM02/pseuds/LexiM02
Summary: Bad things sometimes happen to good people. Dan and Gavin were no exception.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day have some sad sad danvin. There really isn't enough of this ship on here though, and I decided that I would contribute because I'm in rarepair hell right now guys. Also my english teacher was an ass earlier and I need to see that I can still write, even if it's not exactly great. Happy Reading!

Gavin never realized how bitterly cold the rain could be, but now that he was standing in a deluge from the heavens in a hoodie and a pair of jeans instead of a jacket, he noticed just how freezing it was. England was never overly warm, anyway. He could hear Dan’s voice echoing in the back of his mind, reminded of the times that he walked out into the rain and Dan grabbed him by the back of the collar. “Where's your coat, B? You'll catch your death out there.” And then Gavin would refuse, and Dan would sigh and unearth an umbrella big enough for the both of them, and Gavin would obnoxiously sing the chorus of “Umbrella”, and Dan would laugh like Gavin was the funniest person he knew, and all would be right with the world. Dan wasn't here though. He wouldn't be coming out to warn Gavin about the dangers of walking around in the rain with no coat or talking to someone ue didn't know in a pub or staying out too late. Dan would never again tell Gavin not to accidentally set his grandmother's hydrangeas on fire or blow up the entire garden, no matter how much Gavin used the classic “but if we put it on the internet” defense. Before, Gavin wasn't even allowed to cook dinner, because of a particular incident including a pressure cooker and the caving in of most of the structural work around the oven.   
Dan enlisted in the army when Gavin got a job with a production company halfway across the world. He was 17, he was a stupid kid. The main force behind Dan enlisting was hubris. Belief that he was greater than he was, and every single time Dan was deployed, Gavin spent six months to a year having sixteen billion heart attacks per day. Dan was his entire world. Gavin didn't understand why, or even care why, he loved Dan so much. They had been together for a few years when Dan enlisted, and when Dan left for some desert country in a far off corner of the world on a government sanctioned murder mission, Gavin was fixing printer jams and running office errands, bringing hot coffee to people who mattered. While Dan's biggest problem was stepping on a landmine or getting abullet to the head, Gavin's was tripping over a lighting kit or a cable. Dan lived for danger and Gavin knew he was so glad that Gavin chose a path in life that meant the worst injury he might encounter was a papercut or a scrape, bruises from tripping over himself. Dan took solace in the fact that at all times, Gavin was possibly as safe as you could get. Gavin always worried that Dan was the opposite.  
After years of Dan being deployed, that worry had dulled. It was still there, but Gavin was able to shove it to the back of his mind as Dan was deployed to yet another hostile desert country with a name he could barely read, let alone pronounce. It was still there, though. That worry and stress ate at the back of his mind until the night before Dan was set to leave. Dan could tell, too. Gavin was always a little bit clingy, and it definitely got worse when Dan was about to be shipped out for the next year or so. That evening, Dan noticed that Gavin hadn't let go of him all day.   
“Are you okay, B?”  
Gavin mushed his nose deeper into Dan's shoulder. It was glad Dan was patient, since that always meant Gavin needed a minute to articulate his thoughts.  
“I know I'm gonna sound like a 5 year old, but…” Gavin trailed off. “I don't want you to go.”   
“I know. ‘S'not like I have a choice though.”  
“I just… I have a bad feeling about you leaving. I can be worried about you.   
“I always give you permission to worry, but Gav, you know I'll be fine. We've been through this a million times before, we can get through it a million and one, right?”   
“I guess. I have to worry about you, we're nearly married, aren't we. That's what I'm supposed to do.”   
“I know. Tell you what, though, you can worry for the next six months, and then you can worry as Gavin Free-Gruchy.”  
“Are we hyphenating, then?”  
“If you would like. Unless you think Gavin Gruchy or Dan Free sound pleasing to the ear.”   
“I don't care what last name I have. Just as long as I have you.”   
“That was cheesy, Gav.”   
“I know, you love me, though.”   
“I do. More than anything, B.”   
Dan kissed his forehead and Gavin let out a soft sigh. He wrapped his arms around Dan's chest tighter.   
Gavin missed that. He was glad that was their last conversation. Aside from a tearful goodbye the next morning and both of them telling the other they loved them so many times that the words seemed to have nearly lost their meaning, these were Gavin's last words to Dan.    
Gavin hated the English countryside now. Reuniting with Dan here, like this, was terrible. Dan loved the outdoors, especially the meadowy field nearby his grandparent’s house. He took every opportunity to get Gavin outdoors. Their shared Youtube channel was the best source of this, since blowing things up in a house where everything was highly flammable was a bad idea. Gavin sighed. The channel. How was he going to continue with that with no Dan by his side? Gavin wiped his sandy blond hair from his eyes. He wasn't sure if it was the rain or his own tears or both, but his face was soaking wet. In general, he was sopping wet, and if he were here Dan would tell him he was fixing to get pneumonia. Gavin found that he didn't care. He shook his head in an effort to get the hair out of his eyes. He had grown it out since Dan always said he thought Gavin looked cute with long hair.   
Dan had only been gone for three days. They were on a tracking mission out in the middle of some desert that Gavin couldn't locate on a map if you gave him twenty minutes and a clue beforehand. It had taken just three days for Gavin's entire world to be destroyed. It was supposed to be simple, right? Track, find, kill. Dan had done it a million times before. The world does not deal in simple and kind, though, and Dan had been shot. The bullet hit a major artery, Dan bled out before medics could do anything, before they had even gotten to him, he was gone.   
According to one of the few friends Dan had made that knew about his significant other, Dan's last words were incoherent mumbling about Gavin and his upcoming wedding.   
Dan refused to marry Gavin until his military service was up, and in just those last six months, he was nearly out. They were engaged, and had been for years, but Dan had reservations about signing legal papers declaring them husband to one another while he still had to participate in government sanctioned murder. Gavin still wore the engagement ring, a simple silver band inlaid with both their birthstones. “An unconventional ring for an unconventional couple,” Dan had said the woman working behind the jewelry counter told him with a smile. It was definitely true. Gavin still wore it even though he would never be Gavin Free-Gruchy. Dan and he would never be a married couple, they’d never have the life they wanted. Not with Dan rotting in a box six feet under. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Gavin had been uncharacteristically angry and sullen for so long. Normally Gavin was chipper, but losing Dan ripped his to shreds. Why did Dan have to go into the army? Why did he have to be deployed, why was it him, why had everything gone wrong, why, why, why? Gavin ran those questions through his head a million times and he never had any answer, of course. After the sullen anger had dulled, all Gavin could feel was pain. Everything hurt. The whole system was wrong for taking Dan too soon, he was only 28, for god’s sakes. Nothing was okay. Aching numbness settled in, only broken when Gavin saw something Dan had left in their shared home. Or when Gavin thought of Dan. Where did you go? Gavin would want to yell. Why can't you come home? Why did you leave me? Of course, once again, he never had any answers. All he wanted was Dan back. He hated the fact that Dan would never come back, he would never be coming home. His home was a six foot deep, two foot wide hole in the ground, bled white and encased in a pine box, shipped back to Thame to be buried. They would never have long, lazy afternoons spent in the garden, thinking up video ideas or just enjoying each other's company. Dan would never wake Gavin up before work with a kiss and breakfast made in the kitchen again. No more family holidays spent talking in the corner, away from Gavin's various drunken family members and Dan's chatty relatives. He would never get to feel the crush of Dan's arms around him when he picked him up from the airport, happy to be home after another successful deployment. Not everything was always happy, but Gavin was understanding and Dan was patient enough that everything eventually worked out. Dan could be classed as a bit unstable occasionally, easy to anger and frustration, but they rarely argued. When they did, it was never major. Dan was sweet, and kind, and altogether too good for anyone. Why he chose military action as his job was beyond Gavin.   
In the past few months, Gavin had thought that maybe, just maybe, it was for the best that Dan's military service ended the way it did. When he came to visit Gavin at work, he looked ever so slightly out of place in an office environment. Like he just didn't belong, no matter how badly he wanted to. Dan would have vetted out and joined Gavin at Roosterteeth, if their plans had come to fruition. Dan looked so strange in an office, standing around engaging in water cooler gossip with people that he knew but didn't seem to care about. Dan wouldn't have been happy at the office. It made his passing seem easier to digest. Gavin knew that Dan would have been completely happy as long as Gavin was by his side.   
The rain bit through Gavin's hoodie. He was shaking. He hated that he was alone. He hated that he had Dan taken from him. He hated everything. It was a feat to be this bitter and jaded at 28, but having the light snuffed out of your life did things to you. Gavin sighed. He had been standing here, at Dan's grave, for an hour. He did this too often, and it was starting to wear on him. Would Dan want him living like this? Of course not. He didn't feel like he was living without Dan, though. Nothing felt real. Everything was a numb ache and his mind filled with static instead of thoughts.   
How could he return to a house that felt like it had grown three times bigger and a hundred percent more silent? How could he move on when he would be leaving Dan behind? Gavin didn't sleep much anymore, it was too much to lie in bed without the familiar crush of Dan's arms around him, the warmth he radiated. He felt cold and completely alone without Dan snoring beside him.   
Gavin sighed. He guessed the adage was true, even hell got comfy once you settled in. Missing Dan was a pit of misery, but Gavin preferred that to anything else. Gavin couldn't cry anymore. He didn't think he had it in him. Even though nothing seemed right and everything hurt, he knew he was slowly getting better. He’d move on, but he would never forget the boy he met in high school that was the first person to beat him in Halo that grew into the man that was Gavin's first real love. He thought it was interesting how the one person to make everything fit together for him, the person to fix him, had also been the one to break him.


End file.
